Transformers 3: Dark Side of the Moon

Wednesday, July 20, 2011
Title: Transformer’s 3: Dark Side of the Moon
Director: Michael Bay
Rating: PG-13
Format: In theaters now
Genre: Action/Adventure, Sci-fi, Fatnasy, KICK-ASS (yes, this is now a genre)
Starring: Shia LaBeouf, Josh Duhamel, John Turturro, Rosie Huntington-Whiteley, Patrick Dempsey

Caution: There may be language in this review because I am very excited.

Sam and the Autobots are back! And they are kicking ass and taking names in the third installment of the Transformer’s Saga.
In 1961, The Ark, a Cybertronian spacecraft left the planet of the Autobots in flight from the war that was wiping out their race and destroying their planet. The Ark was carrying an invention that would stop the war between the Autobots and the Decepticons and save the planet.
Only it crashed.
And no one knew where.
Except, of course, the United States Government. (BIG surprise there)
Can anyone say cover-up?
Turns out the Ark crashed into the Moon, the Dark Side, and Apollo 11 went up there and saw the wreckage…but they never told. Fast forward to present day and the Autobots are helping to maintain order and peace amongst humans and aiding the government. During a mission to Chernobyl Optimus Prime finds evidence that the ship survived, and it holds everything they need to rebuild their planet.
Meanwhile, good ol’ Sam Witwicky has graduated from an Ivy League school, received a medal from president Obama and has a new hottie for a girlfriend. But his life is far from perfect. Why is that you say? Sounds awesome to you, huh?
Well, it turns out that saving the planet doesn’t lend any weight to finding a job. And his medal? Yeah, most of his potential employers are Republicans. Oh, and that hottie of a girlfriend? She’s getting hit on every other second from Mr. Inappropriate (AKA: her boss) who happens to be totally loaded and doesn’t need her to give him lunch money every day. And one other thing, his kickin’ car, Bumblebee, is off saving the planet so he has to drive an old beater. Excuse me, I mean “classic” (or would be if he had any cash to fix it up).
Then his parents roll up in their home on wheels wearing matching track suits and want to know why baby boy doesn’t have a job.
Shoot me now, right?
Sam decides to swallow his pride and take a job in the mailroom at a multi-million dollar company and things really heat up. He gets caught in the bathroom stall with another man, who has his pants down (Geez, people, don’t be gross! He was giving Sam hidden information) and then an evil Decepticon (a gross bird!) starts shooting up the place.
Interesting first day on the job wouldn’t you say?
Sam learns of an evil plot to destroy the Earth so the Decepticons can take over, so he does the only thing that he does best. And, no it isn’t deliver mail.
He goes about saving the world again.
And he has help in the form of his friends: the Autobots.

This movie rocked my world. I mean I had to pee so bad during the show that I was shaking, but I refused to leave the theater and I actually sat there contemplating diapers. For when you gotta go but don’t wanna leave. LOL.
So, to say that I am a Transformers fan is a bit of an understatement. It has to be my favorite movie saga EVER. I was so thrilled that my husband and I could go and see it because we got lucky and my grandmother was in town to babysit (SCORE!). So date night turned into me drooling over the cars and watching stuff explode. It was awesome.
The hubby really liked it too. J
Let me just say that you might not think that Shia Lebouf is a hottie but he so totally is. Just look at him:

But it isn’t just the way he looks, he is a damn good actor. He plays the role of Sam to a tee. He’s the perfect balance of a scared kid and a guy with a lot of guts. He looks very deceiving. He is young, he isn’t a big guy and sometimes he can be socially awkward. But underneath are hidden depths of intelligence and a drive to accomplish whatever needs done even if the task seems impossible. He’s also a smartass - and I do love me a smartass.
One of my favorite parts of the movie was a car chase scene (yes, there are quite a few) on the freeway when the Autobots were being chased my Decepticons. Sam was riding in Bumble Bee (who just freakin’ rocks) and B has to transform and Sam goes flying through the air only to land back in Bumble Bee as a car again. He screams like a girl – like I do when I see a big spider - and it was hilarious but it was also great characterization. It totally encompasses everything I love about Sam. He was scared shitless but he was still doing it.
And do you know what else I love about Sam? The way he runs around the movie looking all beat up in his leather jacket. Yup, I don’t know why, but I like it.
Bumble Bee is my most favorite Autobot (as he is for a lot of people). Here he is:

He’s like that loyal dog that you had as a kid and you just love him so much it wells up in your chest. I sat there the whole movie vowing to send Hate Mail to the director if anything happened to B. I love his relationship with Sam. They just fit together and they play off each other and Sam just gives him hell all the time. At one point during the movie my husband leaned over and said to me “All that technology and they can’t fix his voice?” (For anyone who doesn’t know- Bumble Bee doesn’t talk - he can’t. He uses the car radio and every word he says is a different voice and sometimes it’s a line from a song)
Frankly, I was appalled at the suggestion. Fix his voice?? NEVER! It makes him who is he is. It’s part of him!! (Besides they already explained his busted voice in the last movie. It ain’t happening!!)
I love B so much I actually contemplate trading in my mom SUV for one of my own. I would so rock that car. Hehehehe
The graphics in this movie are over the top and they are awesome. Seeing it on the big screen makes it even better. The explosions and the high speed chases are so exciting. And in this movie the military guys are jumping out of planes and buildings are falling over with people in them; it is one hell of a ride. I felt my adrenalin pumping during the whole movie and it completely took me out of my life and deposited me right into the battle of the ever faithful Autobots and the vile Decepticons. Here's an example of the fun things you will see:

Oh! And another fabulous thing I saw in the movie? Remember my favorite scene I was telling you about (the car chase on the freeway)? Well, a few of the Decepticons were totally robot werewolves!! It was awesome. They moved like them and they had those snarling teeth and they were leaping at the’s a wonder I didn’t pee my pants.
The Decepticons might be evil in this movie and let me tell ya they roughed some shit up. But they looked cool. There was this one that was like a humungous serpent, like that thing from the movie Tremors (I think) with Kevin Bacon…those things that came up out of the ground and ate you? Yeah, there was one of those except it was a robot.
And of course the oldies but goodies were there. Optimus Prime (my husband’s fav) and the two little guys that live with Sam and then there is the two that are always together and making jokes. Sorry, I can’t remember all their names. You’ll know them when you see them. And you know what else? (No I am NOT done gushing about this movie) The cars were never ever dirty. They rode through the destruction with burning embers and debris and dead bodies and they looked awesome. Not a spec of dirt on them. My husband asked me what the deal with that was and I said because, “that’s how they roll”. Uh-huh.
The story line was clever and all the actors did a good job. I was surprised to see Patrick Dempsey (AKA: Mr. Inappropriate) in the movie and he played his part well too. The new lady in Sam’s life, Carly played by Rosie Huntington-Whiteley, did a good job. I will say that I think she was more eye candy than anything, but she is gorgeous and for her movie acting debut she did good and she looks good next to Sam. And frankly it was amazing that she helped save the world while wearing stilettos. That’s a woman for ya cause I would have fallen on my face.
So. What have we learned here today? Transformers rocks, and if you haven’t seen it you should RUN to the theater. There is something for everyone in this movie and I dare you to not like it. That would be practically un-American!
I don’t usually rate my movies or books (which you all probably know) but I would give this movie 5 stars.
Grab some candy (I stole a pack of my kids sweet tarts) and your favorite beverage ( I snuck in a skinny caramel latte inside my purse) and go to the theater. This movie is totally worth the arm and leg they charge to get in.
On a side note: Do theaters ever creep any of you out? I mean really your sitting in a dark room with a bunch of strangers who are probably hiding weapons in their pants. Frankly, sometimes I worry so I locate all the exits and form a plan of attack if ambushed by a hostile movie go-er. There was this one guy in my theater who sat through 25 minutes of previews (what is up with that anyway?) then the movie started and he got up to pee. Yes, I know he was going to pee cause he announced it to his buddies. I thought for sure he was toting a weapon. I mean who sits through crappy previews then gets up to pee?? Weirdo.
So here’s some advice. Go before the movie starts, huh? There might be someone in the theater you are freaking out with your bathroom breaks.
So there you have it. My opinion.

For your enjoyment, here are a few more photos from the movie and of the cast:


Here's a little eye candy for the guys:


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